Barbie does Washington

‘Sexually explicit’ children’s game sparks new US political pressure, reports Jenna Jameson

The entertainment industry was in turmoil again today, as yet another game franchise came under the scrutiny of the US legislature. Vivendi’s latest Barbie title Pony Girl for PC, Xbox and GBA ‘contains nekkid pictures’, alleges Senator Albert Bonehead of Alabama.

‘Ah chekked mah ‘puter after mah liddle gal had bin a-playin’ an’ it was full of pronography’, the senator complained, in a controversy now being called ‘Iced Frappuccino’. ‘It weren’t all mine, neither. Must have come from that dratted Barbie game. No doubt ‘bout it.’

Numerous gaming favourites are now facing the evil eye of right-thinking American politicians. Pac Man is being pulled from shelves for its ‘pill popping drugs connotations’ and ‘lewd cherry metaphors representing the deflowering of virgins’, a senatorial representative told us. Pong’s ‘association with the anus’ means it is also under threat, as is Lord of the Rings: Fellowship of the Ring. Even Scrabble 2003 will be recalled because of the ‘distinct possibility of producing rude words’.

However, in a more positive development, the US House of Representatives is currently considering a new bill to make violence in PC games mandatory. ‘It’s the American way,’ explained Senator Hillarie Gunclub. ‘Sex is the work of the devil. But shooting people and cutting them up with knives is a natural part of American life, and our computer games should reflect this.’