Canadian technology becomes official multi-GPU solution for the Catholic Church, reports Roberto Calvi
In a major snub to Nvidia, the Vatican announced today that it would be adopting ATi’s CrossFire rather than Nvidia’s SLI as its official multi-graphics technology. It is thought that a number of influential cardinals had purchased single GeForce 6800 Ultras and SLI motherboards, but were now angry that the discontinuation of the Ultra card would seriously restrict their upgrade options.
Splinter Sect Heresy Theory is a favourite 3D shooter amongst Catholic priests ‘The power of the Holy CrossFire is unparalleled,’ intoned Pope Benedict XVI in a special commemorative mass in the Sistine Chapel. ‘Only dual-Radeon X800 series can 3D graphically render unto God what is rightfully His,’ he added. It also believed that the ‘Shader Model Trinity’ is considered heresy amongst orthodox Christian zealots, and is secretly known as ‘The Satan Model’.
ATi’s historical link with divinity is a matter of public record. That anyone managed to purchase the original X800 XT PE was nothing short of a miracle, and getting a new release of Catalyst Control Center drivers to install correctly is very much a matter of faith. The All-in-Wonder range is also thought to have received its name from the holy awe the products allegedly inspire in their users, according to marketing literature.
‘With the Almighty fighting our corner, we cannot fail in our battle against the deadly sin of Nvidia’, argued ATi’s technical marketing specialist, Bishop Andrew Banana. ‘Only God can save us from Nvidia’s GeForce 7800 GTX. Fortunately, he’s now officially on our side!’
Splinter Sect Heresy Theory Benchmarks
1,600 x 1,200, 4x antidisestablishmentarianism, 8x blasphemy filtering
2 x ATi Radeon X850 XT Platitude Edition: 83.3
2 x Nvidia GeForce 6800 Ultra with Satan Model 3: 66.6
